Life at the moment

Ok ok so I've been meaning to do this for a while...a long while in fact, I just never seem to get round to it. I was talking to my best friend Jo...over a bottle of wine, in some fine "two for one" eating establishment recently about...well my life in general & the drama's I seem to keep having & she suggested I write about it. No idea why but apparently she finds my ramblings entertaining?! so...*ahem* in my best Keenan & Kel style voice (oh dear God)...Aw, here it goes!

Right so I've had allot on my mind recently..an unhealthy amount you might say, especially for someone who is prone to over thinking and analysing things as much as I am.

Firstly there's "the move" ah yes the the most favoured topic of conversation in my house...& has been for the past few years as I recall. Basically my parents are wanting to emigrate to NZ...which is great, but they need to sell this house before they can go...which is the problem. I've had countless arguments with my Step dad over the price...I think he's got it on the market for too much & that's why we've been up for sale since November! without an offer...frustratingly he's holding out for the asking price...which inevitably will never come *sigh*

And to add to the drama of "the move" I decided...after spending a few months in NZ earlier this year that I don't want to move there permanently at this present time...my mum is not pleased with me about this to say the least & has chosen (annoyingly) to pretend like I've said nothing...& still tells everyone I'm still going *grrr* (why don't people take me seriously!!).

Then there's work...this I don't even want to talk about at the moment, I was working then I wasn't...then I was working again, then I wasn't...then I thought I had a stable job...& last week found out I didn't anymore :'( WHY?? please someone tell me am I that hard to employ...what is it?...that fact that I turn up on time (I know employers hate that)...or that I get on with my colleagues...or maybe that I finish set tasks?...I'm fairly frustrated as you may be able to tell *hmph*

I'm so confused right now where to go work wise, I've even been contemplating joining the Army...seriously, I've had interviews and everything...just need to sit my BARB now to check that I can get into my chosen Corps...but I've been putting this off, I think it's the "four year minimum service" that's worrying me...I've been told it will take about five month's from applying until I actually start training which mean's I'll be 23 add four year's reconable service to that & I'll be over 27 by the time I'm allowed out...(you can see my over thinking coming into play cant you) it's just a daunting prospect & something I want to give allot more thought to before making my final decision.

Men. ah the elusive "perfect guy"...we've all got our ideal's...but I don't think I'm asking for too much, am I?...I'll let you decide. I just want someone who gets me...who knows I'm sarcastic & doesn't take offence at every little thing I say, someone who wants to spend time with me, who doesn't hide me from their friends (or stop me seeing mine) who just enjoys the same types of things I do really.

I always have problem's in this area...I met a guy...he was nice for a while, a long while in fact...we went on holidays...spent many Christmas/Birthday's together, almost bought a house...we were even getting engaged...then I woke up to the fact he's some needy mummy's boy who loved to put me down..."fat, ugly, no friend's" a few pleasant comments he regularly made...& let's not forget the time's I was glassed/jumped/almost arrested & generally humiliated for his amusement...thanks for the last few year's Mr.

Needless to say I've steered clear of relationships since, I've met some nice guy's over the past year or so who I'm sure had genuinely good intentions towards me but I've always pushed them away, it's only been very recently that I've even contemplated the whole "dating" thing...& to be honest I'm terrified at the thought!...I met a guy who I kinda like...ok I like, I've known him for a little while now so thought..."just be honest"...so I was *argh* I'm so not sure if it was the right thing to do see he's just got out of a relationship, but they'd been on/off for a while, so if it's another of those situations & they get back together I'll feel a tad stupid...oh well it's done now *gulp*

So anyway that's my lot for tonight...please excuse all grammatical errors...I'm more of a talker than a writer :p


Snow Patrol – Chocolate